Adoption--Should I or Shouldn't I-From the View of An Adopted Woman | Miki's Hope

Adoption--Should I or Shouldn't I-From the View of An Adopted Woman

Friday, March 25, 2016

www.gratis-malvorlagen.de

It has got to be the most difficult decision a woman can make--to give birth to an infant then to allow another couple to adopt that child knowing that the reality is you will probably never get to meet that little person or know if they have had a good or a bad life. But then--what if the birth mother is too young and her family can't afford to house another mouth to feed and rear to adulthood (as was the case with me or so I've been told). Back then it took longer to adopt a baby and no real information was given as to family medical history etc. No information was ever given about the birth mother or father other then some rudimentary facts-the records were sealed. Luckily that has now changed and more knowledge is forthcoming. I was born in 1950 and I was not taken to my adoptive parents home until 1951. They really checked out the adoptive parents back then to make sure. My parents wanted a child that they were sure was born into the religion they practiced so they went to a specific agency. I sometimes wonder if the fact that I was and am very quiet and have trouble being touchy feely or being held at all actually has to do with the fact that I was left for so long to wait in that, what I can only assume was a foster home. I will say this--my adoptive parents and extended family were and are everything anyone could want. They are my parents and I am not in the least bit interested in knowing or meeting my birth mother, even though in this day and age I could probably find out! And yes, I was told almost before I could understand that I was adopted. As for the parents that want to adopt--they have many questions as well.

But before you give up an infant or adopt one you really should know all the options open to you. You really should find someone knowledgeable who can give you ALL the information. If you are lucky enough to live in Colorado then
Creative Adoptions can help whether you have an unwanted pregnancy or you wish to adopt an infant or an older child. I am sure that most other states have something similar, or at least I hope they do.




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33 comments :

mel said...

I love that you have shared your adoption story. It's really such a great thing.

Unknown said...

I was adopted, too. I have friends with adopted children. It's a marvelous option and such an unselfish gift from a mother that is not ready to raise a child yet - to a family that, for whatever reason, adopts instead of having their own.

Myrah Duque said...

Oh wow what a neat story.

Unknown said...

Thank you for sharing your story. Adoption is hard on both sides... as the daughter and sister to adoptees, I am thankful for the unselfish gift others have given to me <3

Neely said...

Thank you for sharing this. Adoption is such a wonderful thing

maureen said...

I was born September 1961 and went to live with my adoptive parent is January 1962. I don't think it had anything to do with checking out parents, I think it was just the way it was done back then. To think we waited that long to bond with anyone is terrible. I'm just glad they don't do adoptions like that anymore.

Vicki said...

My niece is adopted but she couldn't be any more one of us than if she had been born to my sister and brother in law. We don't even think about her being adopted unless something like this post reminds us or she brings it up herself, which she rarely does. She was given to my sister right after she was born, and is in her 40's now. I sure love that girl, she's no different to me than my other nieces or nephews.

People who adopt are special people.

Sandra Shaffer said...

I have several adopted cousins that I grew up with. I couldn't imagine my life without them being a part of the family.

Jenny @cookeatgo said...

My cousin just adopted a baby this year after years of trying! She knows the birth mother and the baby is able to see the birth mother and siblings so far. Thank you for sharing your story.

Ave HLA said...

Thanks for sharing your story! I'm so glad that your adoptive parents are amazing! I have several friends who are thinking about adopting and I have heard that it's quite difficult here.

Unknown said...

Thank you so much for sharing your story. Adopting is great, you can help the child.

Unknown said...

I think adoption is a great thing. I am sure that in most cases it is very hard to give up a child. It would be so hard to let go even though you know it would be in the best interest of the child. I am so happy you grew up in a loving home. As far as not being touchy, feely, it could have to do with the fact you did not receive this the first year of life. I will be praying for you

It's Me De said...

Thank you for sharing your story. I think adopting is a great thing. There are so many kids who need homes and alot of couples who deserve children but can't have them.

Judy Thomas said...

I think adoption is a wonderful thing and it takes very special people to give up their baby to a new family.

Michelle Elizondo said...

I support everyone.

Sherry P said...

What a gift for both adopter and adoptee! Love doesn't prejudice itself about blood. God bless adoption!

Marthalynn said...

How beautiful! Adoption is such a blessing, both for the parents and the child. I've been lucky to know and be a part of some amazing adoption stories. It can be so incredible to witness the creation of a new family when a parent chooses to adopt!

Unknown said...

this is a very beautiful story thanks for sharing

tannawings said...

Adoption sure has changed, although nowdays it is still difficult aand still expensive unless you know a Mom thats giving aa child up. I know how hrd a friend tried. Her husband is a cop, she a social worker at a hospice and no other children the perfect home and it took years and thousands of dollars aand several failed times. It broke their heart every time it ffell through.

Barb said...

It is so nice that you chose to share your story.

Debbie White Beattie said...

I think if you don't believe in abortion and you can't take care of a child properly then the best thing you can do for that child is give it to a loving responsible couple who can't have their own children. This way you know the child will be loved and cared for.

tisme143 said...

I think its hard on a parent to decide to give up there flesh and blood, but sometimes it just needs to be done, and its ok, No one to judge you or that child, Thank you for sharing your story..
@tisonlyme143

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing this lovely and moving story.
Marilyn

cheryle936 said...

Thank you for sharing your story. I have relatives that are considering adoption. I will refer them to this book.

CJ said...

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am a big believer in adoption, which so many people find ironic since I have chosen not to become a mother, myself. Even though I am firm in this decision, I have to admit that it is *possible* (although unlikely) for me to change my mind. If for some reason motherhood is a path that I find myself wanting to go on sometime in the future I will happily adopt. There are so many children who need love and a happy home. It shouldn't be about my genetic code, it would be about giving love to a child. :) Thank you again! :)

jopb said...

I am glad that you have shared your story and were adopted by such a supportive and loving family. I know someone who is considering adoptio.

Nikolina said...

Thank you for this beautiful post, much appreciated!

Unknown said...

Thanks for sharing your touching story about adoption.

Karen Machamer said...

Thank you for sharing your story with us.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing your story!!

ann said...

I thank you for sharing this story. I do think sometimes the child gets to have a better life. Some are adopted for other reasons. Some have happy endings when they find their biological mom , some dont want to be involved at all. Its just a chance you take I guess.

sarh s said...

My mom was adopted (born in 1971) and she herself has said that her mother (who adopted her) was and is a better mother than her biological mother ever could have been. I have to agree, she allowed my brother and I to meet our biological grandmother, but she has made no attempt to come see us in the past 16 years or so. She speaks to her biological family on Facebook, but her biological sister on her mother's side is who she is closest with out of all of them.

I became pregnant at 15 years old and call me selfish, but adoption was NOT an option for my child. I was a troubled teen and my daughter saved my life. While yes, my family did have to help me out a bit here and there I feel I have done a good job of raising her as such a young parent. I graduated high school a year early, I've worked since I was 15 (before I was even pregnant with her). After I graduated high school I went on to be a full time college student and work two part time jobs all at the age of 17 and with a baby. If I hadn't had her in my life, I doubt I would have graduated high school let alone gone onto college. She is now 10 years old and has two little brothers. Since she was born while I was living at home, obviously. She still has a bedroom at grandma's and thankfully my mom owns the duplex we all live in so we're all still very close. My pregnancy at 15 also drew my mom and I closer as I grew up so quickly.

rajee said...

nice story

 
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