Common Courtesy | Miki's Hope

Common Courtesy

Monday, June 10, 2013

I am one of those people that if I am going to do something-I am going to do it all the way! When I sign up for a FB group for comments I try my dardest to get everyone on the list whether I have to or not. I do the same with Re Tweets and Klout. I have noticed that not everyone does this and usually it does not bother me. Hey—life gets in the way—you have things to do—you have no idea what to write in response--it happens to me on occasion as well. Having no children or grandchildren it is sometimes very hard for me to comment on others posts. But I always try to think of something nice to say—unless I really do not agree. I have no problem with others not agreeing with what I say. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. What I do have a problem with—a very big problem—is when people get nasty in those groups. Didn’t their mothers ever teach them “If you don’t have anything nice to say—don’t say it”.



I do a lot of book reviews, as most of you know, and some of them have giveaways attached. If I put a book review/giveaway on a comment place it is because I am looking for comments on the book or my review-I am not looking for people to sign up for the giveaway unless they really want to. I usually put a Mandatory question and if that is not answered-well that person will not win and I consider it a comment which I truly appreciate. I add my giveaways to many giveaway linkys a day for that purpose! I also join Re Tweet groups and Tweet out everything of mine at least twice a day (manually).

The other day I added a book review/giveaway to a group—as is my usual practice I went back in a while later to catch and comment on others posts. Imagine my surprise when I saw a couple of comments directed totally at me-but not mentioning me by name. Something to the effect that giveaways should not be allowed in comment posts (not in this groups rules) and then another person commented that “she didn’t have the time…”—I wrote a comment that I did not expect people to enter the giveaway-just comment and that I deleted my post (which I did)—I had already commented on 5 others—but I decided that I would unfavorite this particular group which I did. I did go back later and all the posts directed at me were deleted-mine was still there—Well-that group lost someone who actually commented on all the posts.






All opinions expressed are my own honest opinions. For more information please check my Disclosure Statement. Our giveaways are in no way sponsored or promoted by Facebook.

21 comments :

Smash Bravo said...

I know what you mean about sometimes not having time. I still have to do comments for last weeks WW, BUT eventually I try to get to everyone. I think it's common courtesy and I have commented on people who have a giveaway and all I do is comment about the product being given away--no biggie. Some people are just plain stupid.

Passport To Frugal said...

Yes, I too have been in groups like the one you mentioned. I finally just removed myself form most of them and I feel it maybe time to weed through them once again.
If someone posts a giveaway I'm not interested in I still go ahead and share. However if it's a giveaway I do not feel comfortable sharing (not G rated) I just pass that post up. Sorry but it's my fans I sharing your post with and my fans have come to expect G rated posts.

Enbrethiliel said...

+JMJ+

Well, it's their loss, isn't it? =( I'm surprised by those catty members, though. If someone new to the group did it, I can see some eyebrows being raised until the person proved he wasn't just there to promote something--but even then, to do it in such a public manner just humiliates a person and is wrong. In your case, Miki, you were a regular who commented on all the posts, so not only was it clear that you were there to give and to receive comments, but you were also owed a little more courtesy than that.

Speaking of groups for comments, I noticed your Thirsty Thursdays linkup the week you put it up and considered joining, but didn't know if my posts really "fit." And the last thing I wanted was to make people feel obligated to comment meaningfully on posts that really weren't for them.

MikiHope said...

I am one of the hosts of Thirsty Thursdays. Acting Balanced is the one who started it I believe.These are not my rules. Anyone is allowed to join in--the rules there state no giveaways-and that you can only add one, your obligation is to comment on at least 3. So that if someone does not want to comment on one or more there is no problem. (I do try to comment on them all) Until after what was said in that group there was no rule about no giveaways or I would not have put them up there. I have noticed that that rule was added to the post afterwards!!

becca said...

i don't do group giveaways because i don't have time as for entering giveaways I only enter ones I think will be something i want or can use or is cases of books if I have time to read it. I try to always leave a goo comment and if not I hope the blog writer would let me know they aren't happy with me so I can do better.

Christy Maurer said...

I think it's absolutely fine to ask for comments on a giveaway! If they don't want to win, they could politely comment on the review and say they'd rather not be entered in the contest. I do what you said. When you ask for a specific question to be answered, I don't answer it unless I want to win! People are so petty!

Ruth Hill said...

I am so sorry that happened to you. I don't understand why people act like that. I try to help out when I can, and I would expect that everyone would do that. If you don't want to comment on something, you don't have to. No reason to direct things at a person like that. You have had some real diffculties lately online, and I hope that things get better for you--honestly.

Feisty Mom said...

I only participate in one group full and another occasional for those reasons you mentioned. I knew a lot of others were not reciprocating.

Cindi said...

I LOVE giveaways!! As a single mom and book reviewer, I have to rely heavily on them for books to read and review. Also, I have met SO MANY wonderful bloggers and authors through these giveaways. So I would let you post a giveaway on a comments section, or anywhere else that you wanted to. Who DOESN'T like giveaways??? That's like saying you don't like chocolate. They are just being combative--forget about 'em!!

Jennifer Williams said...

I have been doing spring cleaning of the groups I am involved in. I leave because for two reasons - giving and not getting in return or drama. I do not want to waste my time constantly leaving comments or doing other things to help to get nothing in return and I have enough drama in my life without getting into more. Sorry this happened to you, there are plenty of people that really do just want to help each other out and I tend to stick with them.

Corinne Schmitt said...

I am sorry to hear this. There are so many great people in the blogging community, it can be disheartening to find the occasional pessimist among them. I, for one, enjoy reading book reviews because I have found so many great reads that way (many of them here!) and I don't feel pressure to enter the giveaways. At least now you can focus your time and energy in groups that are more conscientious.

Trisha W said...

Just do away with the people that like to cause drama. If people do not help and you helped them just remember it for next time and move on.

Melinda Dunne said...

I am sorry to hear about that.I am like you and get everyone (at least I sure try to). I completely understand what you are saying but I don't understand is why grown adults feel the need to be so nasty. I don't have it in me to deal with such nonsense. It is unnecessary. I appreciate you a lot and I love reading your reviews and have entered several of your giveaways.

April M. said...

im sorry that you had such a bad experience. I always try to do my duties in groups that I joined no matter how busy I am. I totally know how you feel.

Kelli Avery said...

I hope you were able to work things out between all of you. Hate to see conflict between bloggers, it's nice for everyone to work together and help each other out..

Lexie Lane said...

Oooh! I sure hope it didn't happen in our social marketing group? I know we really don't have restrictions. It is VERY frustrating when you give and give and don't get back at all. Guess such is life, right?

Loreina said...

Yikes! That is pretty mean. I get busy to so I know how you feel. If I have a giveaway live on a post I'd like comments on, I usually say "Comments please. Enter if you want, but that's up to you." I haven't received any negative feedback...yet!! :)

nova hedges said...

Very nice of you to let out what you really felt in that group. I don't know why, others would still prefer to say something to hurt others. you know what i mean? you are right, if you have nothing nice to say, just don't say it. although, they have a point sometimes, however it's a matter on how you say it, which private message would be the best, if they have a way.

if i don't usually like to join the giveaway i still leave comments and acknowledge the blogger's hard work.

i hope you'll feel better.

Sofia @ From PDX with Love said...

I try to do my best. There have been posts I have seriously nothing to say so instead I tweet their post or share it. But I honestly do not want to slave and be on FB all the time (I dislike that website as it is and try to avoid as much as possible). I have two young boys who need my attention and would rather spend the day outside playing than dealing with all these nonsense.

People get so defensive sometimes, drives me nuts.

You did good...

Oh, and un-related to this post, what kind of kitty do you have? we are looking into getting a cat but don't know which to get!!

Cyndie said...

I try to put a relevant comment if I comment. With that being said, I have experienced vision problems for the last month or so and it continues. I try to read the posts and leave a relevant comment. I love books so I always try to read what is written.

Melissa Tiffany said...

That's so tough bc I know that a lot of people have a hard time thinking of something to say for book giveaways. It's like, if you're not a reader or into the genre of book, you're kinda' like "Oh, that's nice..." you know?
I'm sorry that the group was rough on you. Sometimes, those groups get a few ppl that plant themselves in there and feel like they can say whatever they want. I float around and don't get too comfortable enough anywhere to get into the kind of habit. Any of us can be caught being snippy from time to time so I just take myself out the situation.
I'm glad you left the group. It was probably the right thing to do. now they know that they were out of line.

 
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